Breaking the Loop: How to Stop Getting in Your Own Way

Ever find yourself this close to a breakthrough—only to procrastinate, second-guess, or somehow derail your own progress? That’s self-sabotage at work. It’s sneaky, familiar, and often misunderstood. But at its core, self-sabotage isn’t about laziness or lack of willpower — it’s a form of self-protection.

Gay Hendricks, author of The Big Leap, describes this pattern as hitting your “Upper Limit Problem” — the internal thermostat that keeps you from exceeding the level of success, love, or happiness you believe you’re allowed. “Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy,” he writes. “When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves.”

Brianna Wiest, in her soul-stirring reflections on emotional healing, adds: “Self-sabotage is not a way we hurt ourselves. It's a way we try to protect ourselves.” Our fear of failure is often just a cover for something deeper — the fear of change, vulnerability, or responsibility that comes with growth.

So how do we conquer it?

1. Build Awareness: Notice when you’re shrinking from opportunities, doubting your worth, or delaying action. Awareness is the first act of self-liberation.

2. Rewire Your Narrative: Start replacing “What if I mess up?” with “What if this actually works?” Challenge the limits you’ve unknowingly set.

3. Take Micro-Movements: Don’t wait to feel fearless. Take small, aligned actions even when discomfort shows up. Confidence is built through doing.

4. Practice Radical Self-Compassion: The part of you that’s sabotaging is trying to keep you safe. Acknowledge it, thank it for its effort, then lovingly lead it toward a better way.

   
   

Growth isn’t about force — it’s about making peace with your potential. When you stop standing in your own way, you’ll be amazed at how far you can go.